Problem: There is not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do
When we say we don’t have time for something what we are really saying is that we don’t value that thing as much as we value something else, that it is not a priority.
Stop saying I don’t have time for XY&Z and MAKE time for it… I hear this quite often, as I’m sure you do. I’ve tried this, a lot, but for some reason I just can’t MAKE more time for the things I feel like I am supposed to do. After all, there are only 24 hours in a day. Usually, at least when I hear MAKE time, I think, work harder and faster, eat faster or on the go, sleep less, multi task to make more time. This form of making more time is not sustainable and will leave us deprived and burnt out both mentally and physically. So, rather than saying “MAKE time for things,” I like to say, “clear up time” for those things. Essentially, prioritize the things we value in life. This starts by defining what we value. For Jessica and I this means quality time together, quality food, learning, and exercise that keeps our minds and bodies healthy for life (not just the present), enriching our lives with meaningful conversations, and being a part of our families. Pretty simple. What do you value in life? Start by thinking of the things that truly make you love life and have a greater purpose than yourself.
Re-wire your brain: MORE ≠ MORE…LESS = MORE… The more things we have, the more responsibility we have
Responsibility is a great learning tool, and it is important. However, it should not be abused. One of the easiest ways to clear up time is to pin point and then eliminate excess in our life. For me this means being deliberate with social media and electronic use. It has been over a year since I deleted my Facebook account, and although I share one with Jessica now, not having one has been liberating. I am not saying you should go and delete yours now, but think about using it consciously, and how many friend’s posts you really want to scroll through while surfing Facebook. I got tired of seeing only the pictures and stories of people who either wanted improve their image and make others envious, or to complain about why their life isn’t great instead of taking action. This is an easy way to clear up time and for most, a huge distraction.
While a student, I did as much as I could and tried out every organization I could get into. I also had more clothes than I could ever fit in my dorm room dressers, and talked a lot about doing big things rather than DOING them. I started to realize that my health (big value) was not what I spent most of my time improving. Rather, I spent all of my time doing what everyone in the organizations I was a part of wanted me to do, always squeezing things into my day whenever possible to try and get more done. Every semester I would go home from school and realize I wasn’t taking care of my body, and that I didn’t need all of the clothes or things I thought I did. By my third year, I made the decision that in order to give quality to the organizations I was a part of, I had to give some of them up. This helped me focus on what I valued… The less I had to divide my focus, the better I could focus on quality… having less became more. Now, my goal is to be a better Vaughn than I was the day before, to be the best Vaughn I can be, and it starts by creating the time to give quality and live quality. I challenge you to do the same.
Do the things in your life produce more positives than they do negatives?
For example, Jessica and I adopted a cat we named Kitty. While both of us are busy and have work or studying to do, we now have the added responsibility of taking care of Kitty. The other night, she peed somewhere she wasn’t supposed to and got us both riled up right before bed which made it hard for us to relax and fall asleep, not to mention we lost some sleep too and have linens that smell like cat pee. Thoughts of keeping Kitty flashed through my head shamefully. What if we didn’t have Kitty? We definitely wouldn’t have had to clean up any pee, or gotten upset, and most likely would have gone to bed quite calm and slept well. But, if we didn’t have Kitty we wouldn’t get to enjoy her snuggling on us while we are trying to study or rolling around on the foam roller, laugh as she chases flies around and eats them, or smile as she plays with our shoe strings to try and stop us from leaving her. My point here is that we love Kitty, we forgave her, and we appreciate the company and happiness she brings to our home, even if there is a small price to pay. Kitty adds more value to our home than she takes. Although she is an added responsibility for us, Kitty’s positives outweigh her negatives. While thinking about the things you value in life, figure out what is holding you back from spending more time on those values.
Are there things in your life that are chronically more negative than positive, relationships, work, even? Do the things, people, and time spent add value to your life? Are these things, people, and time spent essential to your happiness and well-being? We have a small apartment, but we keep it quaint and homey. We have minimal excess clothing and shoes, just enough dishes, just enough counter space, floor space etc… But still, it seems that there are so many things to be done, to keep up with, it sometimes makes me wonder if we still have too much or how others do it. Some of that time is well spent, many of our things do add value to our lives, however, I’m guessing there is a lot of “cleaning up” to do for all of us.
Alright Vaughn, I just want to know how to clear up time!
To summarize everything into three steps, do this:
1. Take ACTION.
Don’t be afraid to create changes in your life or take a risk. Get out of the talking phase and enter the DOING phase. Write down your values and remove significant time spent elsewhere. ACTION is the only thing that can prove motivation. I want you to think back through your last week and how you spent the majority of your time each day. Most of us probably spent the majority of our time doing things we weren’t happy doing. For some of us, we might just need to have a better attitude, but for others, it’s time to take action. Talk to your boss about that raise, end that crappy relationship, put in your two weeks notice, limit your social media use and remove “obligatory” friends, downsize your home, donate old clothes or household items, spend more time with positive friends, stop living with crappy roommates, start eating right, exercising, make a tough decision because it is the right thing for YOU, start a new chapter in your life, do you have a dream?
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great” – Zig Ziglar.
2. Be A MINIMALIST
This goes hand in hand with taking action. My favorite minimalist blogs are Zen Habits and The Minimalists, which I highly recommend reading! To be a minimalist, first closely examine how much time you spend doing things like scrolling through social media, watching TV, cleaning up weekly piles of stuff, commuting to work, spending time with negative people, having meaningless conversations, getting ready to “go out” and dressing up to impress, or even going out and drinking excessively with friends because “it is cool.” Then, if it is not making you or your environment better, get rid of it. Clean up the junk in your life, the excess, and the superficial. Take action.
On a side note: don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel that most of us who go through great lengths to pamper ourselves in the bathroom getting dressed up, whether male or female, are attempting to make ourselves look better than we naturally are. My guess is however, that the cumulative time we spend in the bathroom or picking out clothes to improve our image could have been spent on a quick workout which ultimately would improve our image more so, and at the same time, our health and confidence. Fashion has its place, and having style is great, but I believe too much time is spent worrying about superficial things that include covering up who we really are and what we look like. Quality food, fitness and sleep are what we need more of, not clothes, and not cosmetics. Minimizing the things in your life is better than adding more to an already overflowing schedule.
3. FOCUS On Your Values
Now, you can FOCUS on improving yourself and your environment. You started by defining your values, then took actions that promote your health and happiness, minimized distractions, bad relationships, and excess stuff. Now, focus on what you need to accomplish today, on putting your values first, on becoming the best YOU. Remember, the easiest thing in the world is to be distracted. Focus.
Solution? Take ACTION, be a MINIMALIST and FOCUS.
What three things do you value the most? What is keeping you from spending time on them? What other steps do you use to clear up time? What changes have you made to live a life of value and meaning? What was the hardest part? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Can you look yourself in the mirror each morning and say you are a better you than the day, week, year before?
Live your values,
Vaughn
The Art Of Lifestyle 